Mongoose Holly

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So i can tell you about my superfuntime in Ikea!

First a quick warning, my C key is being rubbish so if I miss any, thats why!

I’ve been buying these big glass jars from Ikea to put sweets in at the wedding but I didn’t quite have enough so my cousin Helen kindly agreed to take me. We thought it would be fun to meet up with Jem and Benjie at the same time as they don’t live all that far away and maybe have some eats and fun.

After getting stuck in some post football match traffic and working out my hastily scribbled directions we finally made it and Jem and Benjie were waiting for us.

I’m sure that the events that followed fall into the ‘you had to be there’ category but seeing as the majority of people likely to read this WERE there, I think it’s still worth recording!

I kinda knew it would be a fun time when benjie grabbed one of the free tape measures and started measuring peoples heads and the gaps between items, also Helen seemed to be on some kind of sugar high. We decided we were all much hungries and went straight to the food hall and ate many meatballs. Helen declared she didn’t need a drink cos she had a bottle of lucozade in her bag, as I’d said I’d pay for her I was quite glad she wasn’t wasting my money! However once she’d tasted my drink she wanted to have some of her own. The natural conclusion being several trips to the counter making a mockery of the free refill service and Benjie fashioning a funnel out of a little ketchup cup to refill Helen’s now empty lucozade bottle. And giggling, lots and lots of giggling.

Once we were full of meatball and juice we headed off to the bed section as my lovely fiance has said that if theres enough money after the honeymoon we can buy a new bed. Jemma and I got on one bed which at first seemed really nice and firm but before to long became uncomfortably hard, so I got off and tried another, this one was immediately too soft. I started laughing because I was clearly being goldilocks and the third bed in this little group would have to be perfect. I announced my discovery to everyone and the anticipation grew as I made my way to the third bed. It may or may not have been pulsing with an inviting glow but in my memory it does. I flopped onto the bed and lo and behold it was perfect! So I got under the covers for a little nap. Helen asked if the bed was too salty, but that was just silly! There were no bears though.

For the rest of the showroom Jem, Helen and I tested nearly every bed we saw and were quite pleased. At the top of the stairs leading to the market hall we stopped, trying to deide if we could go for another plate of meatballs. Benjie started measuring the spaces between us three girls and after one very minor adjustment, we were an equilateral triangle. Benjie was pleased.

At first the market hall wasn’t so much fun. I loaded the trolley with glass jars, Helen agonised over buying a rug and I was talked into buying a lampshade. I managed to hide quite well for a few minutes but they saw me before my ninja skills could really be tested and Benjie pulled the trolley that Helen was pushing into the back of Jemma’s legs. Could have been a nasty disagreement but Benjie looked so guilty and Helen was so appalled by what he’d done that there was no question about the culprit.

However in the childrens area everything became fun again, we took turns going through the little door, which hurt my back actually. I filled the trolley with armfuls of little cuddly mice only to be told I couldn’t have that many. Instead us girls all got one each. Helen found the panda toy she’d liked in the showroom but was then won over by a hippo instead and Jemma decided she wanted a shark, because there were only two and they were nearly 4 metres up with no way to reach them. We left them there. I gave Benjie crabs, there’s photographic evidence coming soon to Facebook. And for a good part of the last section I wore a large black furry cushion with cat eyes on my head. Many people gave me funny looks. None of them have a sense of humour.

Soon it was time to go and pay for our loot. As we were paying Helen saw a sign for 45p hotdogs and began rooting through her purse for change. Our luck was in and she found £1 and sent me on my way with instructions to bring her 10p back safely. After we enjoyed our hotdogs we went to the food store to find meatballs, but we didn’t have enough money and couldn’t justify putting £3 on a debit card, although sitting here now I could really go for meatballs.

Then our adventure was nearly over. We left a little pot of mustard and a serviette in the lift for any wandering hungry hobos and went our separate ways.

All that’s left is for Helen to stealth her rug in when she gets home. John will never know!

It was the funnest time I have ever had in a shop. Thanks IKEA!